I saw a YouTube video called “a brief conversation about picky eaters” by the channel WURLD. As the title says, the video discusses why some people have an oddly heinous attitude towards adult picky eaters.
As an adult who is also considered a picky eater, I think part of the hatred towards picky eaters is that many people, especially Gen X and Baby Boomers, grew up in a “finish your plate or starve/I’ll beat you” household. As a result, they internalize the idea that food is such a privilege that no one should ever have the right to be picky, thus becoming resentful towards other people who have more freedom to choose what to eat. Their thought process tends to be, “Well I never got to choose what I ate when I was a kid. My parents would give me a belt whooping if I didn’t finish my plate. So why do you deserve to be privileged?!”
This also brings me to something I’ve observed for years, many parents are terrible at introducing food to their children. Once a child is no longer a baby, parents lose all patience and just force the child to eat food regardless of whether or not they’ll like it. Vegetables are a primary example. While I’m not saying that children should only eat mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, and pizza, parents who force their kids to eat vegetables they don’t like aren’t teaching them why eating healthy is important. All it teaches them is that only kids have to eat foods they don’t like while adults can eat whatever they want. Especially if their parents eat junk food right in front of them. Thus they grow up to be adults with terrible eating habits because they have a negative association with vegetables.
My hot take is that no one actually hates vegetables. What they hated was their parents’ bad cooking. A lot of parents don’t bother learning how to properly cook or season vegetables. If a kid was forced to eat undercooked, overcooked, unseasoned, or texture nightmare food, then of course they’re gonna grow up hating it. My mom used to hate brussel sprouts for years because her mom would cook them by just boiling and adding a pinch of salt. Since she grew up in a “finish your plate or starve/I’ll beat you” household, she was forced to eat. Once she became an adult, she avoided brussel sprouts like the plague. It wasn’t until she went to a restaurant that actually knew how to prepare brussel sprouts properly that she realized that they could be good.
Many parents also don’t try experimenting with what vegetables their kids could potentially like. I understand that it can be tedious and expensive to keep buying and cooking different vegetables, but once again, forcing kids to eat any random vegetables with the notion of “it’s good for you” won’t teach them about healthy eating. Once you get it right, getting kids to eat healthy won’t feel like a chore anymore. I’m able to eat healthy despite being a picky eater because my mom allowed me to try a variety of fresh and canned vegetables to see which ones I liked.
People especially hate picky eaters when they refuse to try their favorite food because it feels like they’re judging them. Once again, this attitude starts with parents and kids. Since most parents already don't respect their kids enough to let them choose what to eat, they especially wouldn’t stand their kids having a negative opinion on their favorite food. My step dad was just like this. I don’t like mashed potatoes, but my step dad would always force me to eat them because that was his favorite food. Not only did it not make me like mashed potatoes, it just made me hate both them and him even more.
They’re also the elephant of ableism in the room. Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) is a condition that’s usually associated with autistic people. People with this condition tend to become picky eaters. I’m aware that having the ability to choose what to eat isn’t something everyone can do, but generalizing all picky eaters as immature or spoiled/privileged ignores the very real disabilities that make eating difficult for some people. A common rebuttal directed towards picky eaters is “there are children in Africa who are starving.” I’m sure many people, both neurodivergent and neurotypical, who grew up in a “finish your plate or starve/get you ass whooped” household have gotten an earful of that statement. While that’s true, only bringing that up when insulting someone for not wanting to eat a certain food or guilt tripping them into eating something they don’t like only trivializes that issue.
The conclusion to all of this is people need to learn that what someone else eats is no one else’s business. Just because you grew up a certain way doesn’t mean everyone else has to have the same mindset as you. Let people eat what they want. If that makes you angry, then that’s your sign to start unpacking some issues.
